15 Apr Can One Decision Change Things?
Can one small choice change your life?
Joyce is my girl.
She’s been cutting my hair for the past two years. Over that time, we’ve talked travel, her kids, my dogs, life, but we’d never really talked work until yesterday.
Joyce finally asked me about my Tahoe (which is wrapped with CED signage) and the work I do. I shared that I get to help some amazing leaders lead better so they can live better. I believe our lives change when we start changing our mindsets & perspectives, and I hope I can help a few folks do just that.
Joyce’s eyes lit up, and said, “I’ve got to tell you this story.”
A little over a decade ago, Joyce was at rock-bottom.
- Her son had just passed away.
- Her husband left her.
- The goal she had to be a real estate investor crumbled in front of her when the recession hit.
She told me she was at the darkest point in her life and didn’t understand why she was going through this. She felt like a victim – and that maybe she’d heard God wrong and needed to leave Dallas.
After a few weeks of being lost and not knowing what to do, she woke up one morning and realized nothing would change unless she did.
She couldn’t bring her son back – but it did her other two children no good if she stopped living too.
She couldn’t change her ex-husband, but she could determine what standards she accepted for herself from others in the future.
She may have lost her dream opportunity, but she was still alive enough to make others.
Joyce said at that moment, she decided to stop being a passenger in her own life and start driving.
With tears in her eyes, she told me everything in her world changed at that moment, even though from the outside, you couldn’t see any change.
She rebuilt her confidence, her career, and her life. After building her savings back up, she bought herself a home two years ago and now is getting ready to purchase her first flip. She’s a new person – not because her circumstances changed, but because her mindset did.
She took ownership of the position she was in and embraced the power to control the steps she took going forward.
Life hadn’t been perfect, but she still found joy because she knew she had some say over how hers went – even if she didn’t control all of it.
And all because of one small choice she made to take ownership.
So how can you?
1. Stop BCD.
Brian Kight calls “BCD” – blaming, complaining, defensiveness – one of the biggest threats to a team’s success. It’s also one of the biggest thread to our individual success. Regardless of our situation, failures (or wins), make the commitment that you won’t blame, complain, or get defensive. Instead, own the portion you have (even in .01% of the situation), look for solutions instead of complaining, and be open to where you can get coached.
The more we learn to stop making excuses, the better chance we have to take action that changes our situation.
2. Start owning your goals to your friends.
A 2019 study showed that “people who report to friends or mentors about their goals are 76% more likely to reach them.” Who can you tell not only the goals – but the daily action steps you’ll take to reach it?
I use the HabitShare app with my coaching clients for accountability in the process – and highly recommend you & 2-3 friends picking it up to own the daily steps.
Embrace Your Controllables.
Understand what’s in your control and what’s not. Focus on what’s in your power & how you can use it productively when dealing with what’s not. The more you understand what you have the power to control, the more you can maximize its effectiveness.
Your life suddenly changes when you take control of the steering wheel instead of letting someone else or “fate” drive for you.
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